There will be a new comedy show on prime time TV.
Mr. Ogata's been lobbying for us to be members of the main cast.
-Really? -It gets better.
Mr. Satoshima is producer and Mr. Sasamoto is chief director.
The staff from The Gateway to Stardom!
Mr. Satoshima likes us, right?
Mr. Ogata said, "I think Sparks will get it." He really said so!
HIBANA - Spark -
Is that why we've been called in today?
-We have a weekly show?! -Is this real?
This is real!
A weekly show, on prime time TV!
Finally.
The big time!
We made it!
Yeah!
Hi, Erika.
HYUGA AGENCY
-She has good news. -Oh, my.
She has good news.
We got it!
Yeah!
Boss, we got it!
A weekly spot!
Yeah!
What's wrong? We got the spot, right?
We got a spot, but...
it's not Sparks. Buu Fubuubu got it.
Buu Fubuubu got it?!
Sorry.
Sparks.
Come here.
They even signed Shikatani for that show.
Why are we the only ones cut?
They admitted you are funny, but...
But for prime time...
they said your personas were too plain.
"In this day and age, we need happy, pop comedians."
-The producer's words. -Mr. Satoshima said that?
You see...
he wouldn't say yes, no matter how much I begged.
-But there will be more chances. -Here's one already.
A gig at a supermarket.
-Come on. -Go for it.
No cry, no cry.
Come here!
Be at the gates outside Yachiyo Station at 8 a.m.
Two 30-minute shows.
You can do it!
What's with Mr. Satoshima?
At the end of the day, I guess he didn't like us.
What's with "happy, pop comedians"?
Bitch!
I don't wanna do supermarket gigs anymore.
We have to.
Why can't our agency get proper jobs?
-There wasn't anything else. -That's not true.
-Those assholes should do their job. -Don't call them that.
Mr. Ogata tries hard for us.
He's got ideas and plans.
So...
you know many people.
Can't you talk to someone?
I guess I could.
Ask someone to do something that will make things better.
I can't do that.
It's not like we don't need help.
-Then you ask someone. -Who?
I don't have anyone.
You should have gone out and met more people.
-That's why I'm asking you a favor! -That's not how people ask favors!
In the meantime...
why don't you do supermarket gigs?
-They're decent work, too. -Stay out of this.
We're talking about our work.
Shut up.
-I think about things, too. -Shut up!
Hey!
What's with the attitude?
-We should-- -I told you to shut up.
-Hey! -Stop it!
Let's calm down.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me for a minute.
Hey...
Yurie?
You okay?
It's time for:
-The Food Critic Battle! -The Food Critic Battle!
-Let 'em have it! -We won't lose!
-We're better critics! -Watch out, Chidori!
-We'll destroy you! -We couldn't lose!
BUU FUBUUBU'S "THE FOOD CRITIC BATTLE"
After the shoot, Chidori treated them to a BBQ dinner.
Lucky them.
They also paid for their cab rides home.
Chidori knows how to treat people.
Sparks were supposed to be as famous as them by now.
I thought we hit the big time, but we keep getting smaller.
Life has its ups and downs.
And people change their opinions all the time.
They claim to be your fan, then they laugh when you're down.
Amateurs are the cruelest.
Sparks didn't make it that big.
I wanna do manzai on TV.
Stage work is better than nothing.
I was happy to be back.
Doing manzai in front of an audience like this.
How can you say that? You know how bad we flopped.
We killed 'em.
Far from it.
We haven't changed anything. What's wrong?
Good job, sirs.
-Thanks. -Thank you.
Bye.
-Goodbye, sirs. -Goodbye, sirs.
Bye.
-Bye. -Goodbye.
Sir, you were so funny.
-Don't lie. -Honestly, sir.
-How much does Sparks earn in a month? -Don't ask that!
-About 30,000 yen? -They don't earn that much.
Are they angry?
Cut that out. Seriously.
-We didn't mean it. -We apologize.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
-Hello. -Hi.
Congratulations on that new show.
Thank you.
I thought we'd be on it together.
That would've been nice.
I'm so scared.
I don't know if I can do it.
Don't worry. You'll be fine.
-Do your best. -Thank you.
I'm out.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
SHIKATANI
Can I have your autograph, too?
-Sure. -Thanks.
-Mr. Satoshima, what are you doing here? -I had a meeting about a shoot.
Hello.
It's a shame about the show.
I wanted you in our main cast, but the others had different plans.
We haven't given up yet.
SHIKATANI
-We cast the first episode's guest. -Really?
We've got a superstar.
Are you gonna be okay?
I'm Shikatani. You can't go wrong!
So...
Sorry. I'm out.
Goodbye.
Tokunaga.
Any plans for tonight?
-Not really. -How does dinner sound?
You don't mind?
I know a nice chicken hot pot restaurant near here.
I like how Sparks has a unique presence.
I really like acts like that.
"I'm gonna stick my fingers so far up your ass, I'll tremble!"
I'm trying to set up a new show for young comedians.
Everyone will make acts on the same topic.
If there's movement, I'll let you know.
Sure. Thank you.
I'm sorry, but I have to go.
Sorry. Goodbye.
That was it for Sparks.
We disappeared from TV.
Time marched on.
And it left us behind.
JANUARY, 2009 SPARKS
Maybe I should get a part-time job.
I have rent to pay.
I can't let Yurie do everything for me.
-Why not move somewhere cheaper? -It's not that easy.
I'm not like you. I'm not alone.
Thank you. Two morning specials?
-We'll pay separately. -Okay. Four hundred fifty yen each.
You're tight for money too, right?
I'd rather write something funny than do a part-time job.
Thank you.
No matter how much you write, we'll only get crappy jobs.
We're lucky to have work.
Those gigs won't change anything.
Hey. We're on TV.
Wait.
That's something amazing.
We came this far. We're nearly there.
Hey, wait up!
Hey.
If we keep doing manzai, our time will come.
If you do a part-time job, you lose.
KAMIYA'S BIOGRAPHY VOL. 1
Big bro, it's time to go.
I heard my partner joined the Shikatani Army.
He did.
He said he'd follow you forever.
Well...
it means Shikatani has appeal.
No, he's a traitor.
He's your partner. Don't talk about him like that.
But...
It's not a bad idea to follow guys on a winning streak.
You, too.
Why not join the Shikatani Army?
No way. I couldn't bear it.
I understand, but
you shouldn't worry about being faithful.
I can't forgive him. No way.
Hey!
You're a great driver!
-What? -I've never seen anyone drive so good.
-What is this? -Damn, you're good.
I said something nice as a thank you.
You're crap at thanking people.
-I don't feel thanked at all. -Really?
You should say something nice about our manzai or our work.
Your work...
How is work lately?
We've got a job doing our act on TV soon.
-Good for you. -Thanks.
Wait up.
-What are you doing? -I'm sorry.
Ouch.
-Careful! -Sorry.
Okay.
Sorry.
Can we put it down?
Let's put it down.
-Hey! -I'm sorry.
It's not gonna fit.
-It'll go in sideways-- -Let's cut it.
-We can't cut it. -But it won't fit.
Big bro, he looked real happy.
That's nice.
It's pretty.
So pretty, it's mean.
Welcome.
-Someone's waiting for me. -This way.
-Beer? -Thank you.
-Little lady! A beer and a highball. -Sure.
How's my hair? Pretty cool, eh?
Yes.
I didn't end up like Beckham last time.
I did it properly.
I moved again.
Where this time?
Azabu? Or Roppongi?
You won't find rooms for 50,000 yen a month in Azabu or Roppongi.
There might be a doghouse.
Wouldn't it be funny if there was a dog manzai artist?
That might actually suit me.
After all, I don't like talking.
Since when have you not liked talking?
When I listen to you talk,
I get frustrated with myself for speaking so slow.
What do you think about when you're not talking?
To start off with, one word pops into my head.
But that leads to a new flow of thought.
-Then? -And then...
I get all these images racing through my mind.
In the end, I don't know where to start.
That's what's funny.
But it would be better if I could speak faster.
Well...
when you speak fast, you can communicate more.
You get more opportunities to make a laugh, too.
I agree.
So, it's definitely better to speak fast.
But...
-you can't do it, right? -Right.
That makes you unique.
You can create things that are different.
You think so?
There's a certain type of laughter nobody but you can create.
So, tell me...
Tell me that...
Tell me that story.
You know.
This one.
"I Stepped On The Cat"?
Yeah.
Again?
Hurry up and tell me.
I have an older sister.
We were really poor,
but she liked to sing and play musical instruments.
So, Mom worked hard at her part-time job,
and one day she brought home a big piano.
Dad got angry and was yelling, "What did you buy that for?!"
but my sister was so happy and she started playing the piano.
Since we lived in a dirty, little old apartment,
everyone in the neighborhood started complaining about the noise.
Since she couldn't play it, she made a paper--
You can speak fast!
Then my sister went to an electric organ school.
But she practiced on a paper keyboard, so she didn't know there was a switch--
You can speak fast.
-Mr. Kamiya. -What the hell?
Number 82!
What does that mean?
There's no meaning!
Number 82.
Number 82!
-Number 82? -Number 82.
What does that mean?
There's no meaning!
-There's no meaning! -No meaning!
Kamiya's number eighty two.
I took the plant Kamiya gave me to his favorite riverbank.
I planted it next to Kamiya's "box seat."
I had fried chicken and watched the sunset, like we did once before.
Kamiya takes meaningless things and
-What's wrong? -We need to talk.
Can I come in?
Excuse us.
Take a seat.
I brought some dumplings.
Eat up.
You don't mind?
Thanks.
These look good.
With soy and sugar syrup.
Will tea do? That's all I have.
Thanks.
Open it.
Thanks.
Thank you.
What is it?
Eat up.
Hang on.
Just a sec.
I'll just hang these out.
What's up? Sit down.
Can I use two pins for this?
I'm...
I'm gonna be a dad.
Really?
-I'm three months pregnant with twins. -Twins?
-Congratulations. -Thanks.
And...
What?
I'm going back to Osaka with Yurie.
I don't think I can make it as a comedian anymore.
Is that okay?
Okay.
It's my fault. I'm sorry.
No...
-It's not all your fault. -No...
I'm sorry.
What will you do in Osaka?
I'll work at a cell phone store.
Yurie's dad will take me on.
I see.
Do your best.
And, Toku-chan...
we're going to get married.
I see.
It feels like our kids are helping us take the big step.
Toku-chan...
can you be our witness?
-I'll do? -Of course.
Who else would we ask?
You're right.
We should tell the agency right away.
There'll be trouble if they book us a gig.
You're right.
-Why don't you phone them? -That won't do.
We have to apologize in person.
Why don't you go now?
-Aren't we gonna submit the papers? -I'll go by myself.
You should go together.
You're right.
Let's go to the agency tomorrow.
Sorry.
Thank you.
So...
You see...
I'm thinking about buying a pet.
Pets make good company, right?
Are you gonna buy an old fart?
No! Who wants an old fart for a pet?
I want something cute. Like a parrot.
A parrot? Okay.
When I come home after a hard day's work,
it'll say, "Welcome back!" Wouldn't that be sweet?
Hang on.
"Welcome back"? Your parrot talks?
-Why do you sound scared? -That's not scary?
It's so smart, it knows how to talk?!
No!
It will talk because I'll make it talk.
If it does exactly what you tell it to do,
that'll make you feel better?
You'll forget...
the fact you made it talk?
That's what parrots are all about.
Let me take a guess:
When we were kids, alarm clocks played recorded messages.
Most kids got their friends to say, "Wake up!" for them.
But you were such a loner, you taped your own voice.
-Am I right? -Don't tell everyone!
You woke yourself up?!
-You're the loneliest guy in history! -Where did my conversation go?
The topic was "Parrots." Not clocks.
No talking parrots for me.
-Talking parrots are cute. -Nope.
-They're cute. -They're not.
-They are. -They're not.
-They are. -They aren't!
-They are! -They aren't!
They are!
-Is this how summer festivals originated? -Huh?!
I have no idea how they started.
When parrots talk, they are cute.
-They are? -Yeah.
Okay. I'll be your parrot.
Come home.
Hi, parrot, I'm home.
-What's your retirement plan? -Why would he say that?
He's not my mom.
-When will you redecorate? -Don't diss my interior designing.
I want a cute parrot.
Hi, parrot, I'm home.
This is way too sudden.
I'm sorry.
We'll come tomorrow and apologize to the boss together.
Have you decided your next partner?
No...
I haven't.
Any candidates?
No.
I'm sorry.
I don't...
I don't intend to become a duo with anyone other than Yamashita.
-Hello. -Hello.
-Hi. -Hello.
NO WOMAN, NO CRY!
-Here you go. -Thanks.
-And some for you. -Thanks.
-This is the schedule. -Thank you.
Let's go eat. My treat.
-That sounds nice. -You wanna come?
Let's go.
-Me, too? -Yep.
This is delicious.
-One more, please. -Certainly.
Hey, you still have work. Don't blame me if the boss tells you off.
-It's okay. -No, it's not.
Today's okay. It's the last time.
The last time?
Here you go.
-Thank you. -Thanks.
Sparks...
They're breaking up.
You're kidding.
I'm sorry.
Hang on. What?
What's going on?
Yamashita...
He's getting married. And he's going home.
"Breaking up" means you're going solo?
-I wouldn't be a good solo act. -What will you do?
You're quitting comedy, right?
You can't be.
Am I right?
What are you talking about?
You're just a little out of form.
You'll be on TV again before you know it.
After all...
you've tried so hard for so long.
So...
let's drink.
Let's drink.
It's been a while.
Welcome.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Boss...
Hey.
Here.
Thanks.
So, I'll see you next year.
The man I'm marrying is from Kyushu. I might not make it back.
I see.
Goodbye.
I haven't seen her before.
Is she a regular?
She's my daughter.
I see her once a year. On her birthday.
I see.
What would you like?
Coffee.
Coffee it is.
It's a waste.
It sure is a waste.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
You're not rushing things?
Sorry, boss, but...
it's a decision we came to together, and we're happy with it.
Please let us break up.
I'm really sorry.
I saw an amateur manzai contest.
Some high school students competed.
Their act was very self-centered.
Nobody in the audience even smiled.
Nevertheless, they looked ever so happy.
To me, they sparkled.
And I thought:
If I could be with these kids,
they would make me feel as happy as they looked.
So, even though they were crap, I signed them up.
They sound really lucky.
They were you. Ten years ago.
That's why I signed you up, ten years ago.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I'm sorry we disappointed you.
Don't worry about that.
Stop it.
Sit down. Come on.
Sit down.
Remember one thing for me.
Who is Sparks' biggest fan?
Me.
If you ever change your minds, let me know.
Okay?
Thank you.
"Hello. We're Sparks. Please enjoy the show."
"I'm thinking about buying a pet. Pets make good company, right?"
"Are you gonna buy an old fart?"
"No."
"I want something cute. Like a parrot."
"A parrot? Okay."
"When I come home, it will say, 'Welcome back!'
Wouldn't that be sweet?"
"'Welcome back'? Your parrot talks?
Isn't that scary?
It's so smart, it knows how to talk?!"
"No.
It will talk because I'll make it talk."
"Hi, parrot, I'm home."
"What's your retirement plan?"
"Why would he say that?
I want a cute parrot.
Hi, parrot, I'm home."
Damn...
Damn!
Damn...
-Sorry for the wait. -It's cold out here.
It sure is cold today.
-Does your hair still feel coarse? -Yeah.
It really can't be helped.
This brings back memories.
I remember back when we worked together.
You gave me so many free haircuts.
But after you got silver hair...
it was like you'd gone beyond my reach.
But now you've got black hair, we're back to the old times.
But about me giving you haircuts...
This will be the last time.
Why?
I'm going to London.
For work?
Study.
I'm planning to study over there for a while.
Really...
That's amazing.
Congratulations.
That's great.
Thanks.
Wow.
London...
That's so far away.
Yeah.
Sorry. I'm going this way.
So, I'll see you around.
Take care.
Ayumi!
I wish you all the best.
Thanks.
You, too.
Bye.
Go for it!
I love her!
NO MAN, NO CRY!
And then...
our final day came.
-Who's that? -It's not Itokoi.
-When will they be on? -You're talking too loud.
-No, I'm not. -Yes, you are.
-I'm not. -You are.
Is this how summer festivals originated?
I don't know!
"THE GREAT COMEDY SHOW" PRESENTED BY HYUGA AGENCY